Remember Summer by Elizabeth Lowell
Genre: ewww, romance
I read it as a(n): digital book from the library
Length: 384 pp
Her Grace’s rating: 1 stars
Raine Smith is a world-class equestrian. Readers first meet her scanning the cross country obstacle course for the summer Olympics, where she is standing on a hill with a camera. The male protagonist, Cord Elliott, is an agent from a branch of the government anti-terrorist task force who is assigned to protect Raine, whose father is a bigwig in said task force. Except nobody told Raine that she has a protective detail, and someone gave Cord a terrible photo of Raine so he didn’t recognize her. Still thinking she’s alone, she reaches into her purse to grab a notebook, making Cord think she’s going for a gun – alone. On a hilltop. – and he tackles her to the ground. Two minutes later, they are making out.
I…do not understand romance books. Granted, this one was written in the 80s. But even in that strange time, I don’t think real people acted that way. Who the fuck makes out with a man who literally just attacked you? The only correct response, both in that instant and in every instance thereafter, is a solid kick to the balls.
I got this book (thankfully from the library – I spent no money on it) because I saw a review somewhere that only talked about the horse stuff. So I thought it was a horse book! For grown ups! I was a horse-crazy little girl. I still dig a good horse novel for adults, especially if it’s about English style riding or eventing. If I had known it was a romance, I would have passed on it. Because of crap like the above. There is hardly any horse stuff except in the last 10% or so, other than Raine talking or thinking about her horse. Otherwise, it could be just any kind of event or sport – fill in the blank with whatever activity you choose and you’ll have the same story.
The characters were flat and unlikable. Raine is supposed to be a world-class rider on a dangerous horse who has spent her entire life working towards this moment when she will compete in the Olympics, and yet one tackle and getting pinned to the ground by a random man turns her into a vapid cow who can only think about getting laid by said random man and who laments that her daddy doesn’t love her.
Cord is a caveman with a gun – grunt woman mine! – who has poor communication skills and a one-track mind, if we’re being generous in factoring in his mission to kill a specific terrorist. Half-track mind if we focus only on his singular desire to drag Raine to bed by her hair and keep her there. Naturally, he also handles her horse better than she does.
I am sad that there is such a dearth of horse stories for adults, and that many of the ones that exist take the form of romance. Horses and women do not automatically have to equate to bodice-ripping, flat romance. I am definitely dumber for having read this book.
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