Tag: LGBTQ

I Wish You All the Best

kristenLeave a comment

i wish you all the bestI Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver (Website | IG)

Genre: YA/ contemporary fiction

Setting: Raleigh area, NC

I read it as a(n): paperback

Source: my daughter’s collection 

Length: 329 pp

Her Grace’s rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Deaver’s novel centers 17-year-old Benjamin, a nonbinary kid living in the suburbs of Raleigh. When they finally work up the nerve to tell their parents they’re nonbinary, their parents flip the fuck out and kick them out of the house. In that instant. Without shoes or a jacket on, even though it’s winter and snowing out. Ben manages to call Hannah, their estranged older sister, who comes and gets Ben and takes them to her house. She and her husband, Thomas, a local school teacher, take Ben under their wing, get them enrolled in Thomas’s school for the last semester of high school, and get them into some therapy for the traumas caused by their parents. During all this, Ben makes new friends, including Nathan. At first, Ben thinks Nathan is a little too much but as the months pass, their feelings for him change into something else. 

This book is a great look at several social issues and the impact they can have on families. Mostly the impact is brought about by intolerant, asshole parents. And crappy society. And mostly well-meaning but clueless people. Ben’s world is shattered by the way their parents treated them. They don’t feel they can be who they truly are, which is a sad state of affairs for anyone. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we truly are, not for how others want us to be. I do not have any experience similar to Ben’s but it seems like it was handled extremely well. It was visceral. I don’t know anything about the author beyond the fact that Deaver is also nonbinary, but I hope their writing doesn’t come from first-hand experience. I wish people would just be kind to each other. 

I also really liked how Deaver handled Ben’s mental health. They suffer from depression, crippling anxiety, and panic attacks. At times, these manifest in an inability for Ben to say anything other than “Yeah” or “Okay,” and sometimes nothing at all. It can be really frustrating to witness that, but also understandable. I myself have been frozen in social situations before. It blows. 

Now for some things I didn’t care for as much. Hannah. She’s Ben’s much older sister and she took off when she was 18. I don’t blame her for that since her and Ben’s parents seem awful. I don’t even blame her for not thinking it through when she left her number for Ben to call, not realizing that a 10 year old child wouldn’t be able to call her without their parents finding out. I DO blame her for not reaching out later, when she was older and hopefully wiser. I think just bailing out of Ben’s life like that was a shitty thing to do, especially knowing what kind of parents they had. I think it is even worse that she seems to have actually forgotten him entirely for a span of several years. I’m glad she stepped up and is able to help Ben when they need it the most, but I don’t know that it makes up much for her absence in the years preceding. 

The secondary characters were kind of, well. Boring. Hannah was overbearing, Thomas was mostly a blank slate, and the school friends, even Nathan, were all sort of interchangeable to an extent. 

Also, things seemed to work out remarkably well in the end. I know this is fiction and it is nice when the characters who deserve it get good things. But it also seemed simplistic and not realistic. Don’t get me wrong. I’m GLAD it worked out as it did and I think Ben deserves everything good that happened. I just also think real life rarely works that way and it didn’t set well with me for some reason. Maybe we will get to see more of Ben and company in later books that could explore more deeply. A lot of this book felt like setting up and introducing characters. 

This is maybe a silly thing to nitpick, but I think the book should have had some resources included for people, especially teens, who are struggling with their gender identity, how to find safe places or mental health help, suicide crisis hotlines, and so forth. So, I will include one. One of my work friends started a nonprofit organization for helping LGBTQIA+ kids (they focus on kids ages 11-22). It is called Scaffolding Youth and is a fairly new but growing organization. It seems awesome, helpful, hopeful, and can connect kids with strong advocates. 

Overall, I really enjoyed this book, even though it’s a YA and I hardly ever read YA anymore. I have too many adult books to read to go back to high school, but I read this one because my daughter asked me if I would read it. I’m trying to read more books that she reads as well so we can talk about them. But I’m glad I read this and I think it’s really important that we have books that are representative. Diversity is vital. I definitely recommend this book, and also that everyone go and find other representative and diverse books when you’re done with this one.

Also, the correct answer is waffles.

Advertisement

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda

kristen1 Comment

23866536Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (Website, Twitter, Insta)

Genre: contemporary/YA

Setting: Atlanta, GA

I read it as a(n): audiobook

Narrator: Michael Crouch

Source: my own Audible collection

Length: 6:45:00

Published by: Harper Audio (7 April 2015)

Her Grace’s rating: 5 out of 5 stars

Simon Spier is a gay high school junior who isn’t out yet. He has been having an online flirtation for the past several months with another boy he knows only as Blue. Simon is usually really careful with when and where he emails Blue, but one day he got careless, accessed his email from a school computer, and before he knows it, Martin, one of his classmates, has screenshots of his emails. Martin says he won’t share the emails with the whole school IF Simon helps him get a date with Simon’s friend, Abby. Blackmailing – what can go wrong?

This was an absolutely delightful novel. I admit I don’t read a lot of LGBTQ+ literature – not because I have a problem with it at all. I don’t. It just isn’t on my radar as much, which I think is ok since I’m not really its intended audience. That said, I am actively trying to add more LGBTQ+ books into my literary diet. I also very rarely read anything remotely resembling romance, and when I do, it’s either an accident that I somehow missed in the summary that a book is a romance, or it’s for a reading challenge. But this book got so much hype that when it was the Audible daily deal, I decided to get it. It only took me like 2 years to actually get around to listening to it.

Simon reminded me of a couple guys I went to high school with. He’s friendly and witty and in the theatre club. He’s not the most popular guy in school but is far from the least popular. His best friend Nick is on the soccer team. His other best friend Leah is a kick-ass drummer. They’re the typical teenagers – generally excitable, think their parents are lame, and hyperbolic about the events of their lives. Except for Simon, he has reason to be hyperbolic. Not only does he have to worry about getting outed by Martin, but Blue’s identity is also on the line. 

When I really look at this plot, not a whole lot happens. It’s a bunch of teenagers doing teenagery things and having all the feels about it. But it is really so much more than that. The underlying theme is to challenge the status quo, to undermine the assumption that straight is the default. Simon wonders why everyone doesn’t have to come out, whether they come out as straight or gay or bi or anything else. And he’s right. Straight shouldn’t have to be the default. Cisgender shouldn’t have to be the default. We badly need a shift in the way we think of sexuality and gender identity because being so narrow in our mindset and definitions is causing real harm to real people, not just characters in a fictional book. 

If I have any gripes about this book, it’s that everything all turned out very neatly. It seemed kind of unrealistic. Simon is a good kid. Leah, Nick, and Abby are all good kids. Blue turns out to be a good kid. Even asshole Martin turns out to be a good kid in the end. Basically everyone gets the HEA ending. So it was a little too cute for me in that regard. I like dark and twisty stories, which seem more real than the perfect ending. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad things turned out well for all the kids. It just seems like it was too easy. But it didn’t stop me from giving this a 5 star rating or it being among my favorite book I read in 2020! Even with all the cuteness and teenagers.

Jonny Appleseed

kristen1 Comment

Jonny AppleseedJonny Appleseed by Joshua Whitehead (Twitter, Insta)

Genre: contemporary/literary fiction

Setting: Manitoba/Peguis First Nation

I read it as a: paperback

Source: my own collection

Length: 224 pp

Published by: Arsenal Press (15 May 2018)

Her Grace’s rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Jonny Appleseed is about a First Nations boy who is gay and trying to figure out how to be his best self. His mother wants him to come back to the Reservation for his stepfather’s funeral. Getting there requires more cash than he has on hand and so he works extra at his job, which is as an online sex worker. During the few days it takes him to save enough cash to get home, Jonny reflects on the experiences from his past that have helped to make him who he is right now, with a fever-dream kind of feel to the memories.

I am honestly not sure how to write a review of this book that really encompasses my thoughts without making me sound like either an idiot or an asshole. I loved this book, though, and loved learning more about the Cree Nation, where Jonny as well as author Joshua Whitehead are from. Truly, it isn’t possible for me to have known less about the Cree before beginning this book, so it was an interesting reading and learning experience. 

I enjoyed learning some Cree words, though I absolutely have no idea how to say them. At first, I wanted a glossary because not all of the words used in the book were explained by context (or maybe I just didn’t get it), but then I decided that I liked that there was no glossary. It felt more real for the words just to be there, slipped into the narrative as they probably would be in normal conversation, and it is my job as a reader to figure them out. I always like learning about a culture that isn’t familiar to me and I appreciated the richness that was imparted through this story.

Many parts of this were heartbreaking. Not just because of how people treated Jonny as a Two-Spirit indigiqueer person, as he calls himself. But also because of how poor he and most of his acquaintances are, how hard they have to work to scrape together enough to buy something like a six-pack, or that they work hard just SO they can buy a six-pack or spirits. 

I think this is a book everyone should read. It will make you laugh, cry, and most importantly, think and empathise. 

Favorite part/ lines (potential spoilers!):

  • Home isn’t a space, it’s a feeling. … And it isn’t always comfortable – at least, not an NDN home. In fact, quite often, it’s uncomfortable. But it’s home because the bannock is still browning in the oven and your kokum is still making tea and eating Arrowroot biscuits. … And, given time, it becomes mobile – you can take those rituals with you, uproot your home as if it were a flower.
  • But I just laughed and I think he got mad – I wish he knew that when an NDN laughs, it’s because they’re applying a fresh layer of medicine on an open wound.
  • Don’t be thinking I don’t know who this is for – you like that Walker boy. I’m fine with that, son, Creator, he made you for a reason – you girl and you boy and that’s fine with me, but what’s not fine is you selling yourself short. You gotta leave if you wanna survive, and when you do you’re gonna need the steadiness of those hands, m’boy. You’re gonna need a rock and a whole lotta medicine. 
  • I am my own best medicine.
  • But the way he told stories was so sincere that I couldn’t help but become enamoured. That was when I learned just how much power there is in stories …
  • “Howa, he’s just snapped,” someone said, which made Jordan laugh. “Oh heck, that guy’s feeling no pain,” she said. That saying is weird, “feeling no pain.” I used to laugh at it too, but nowadays I think that they’re drunk because they’re feeling all kinds of pain.
  • My kokum had always told me that sleep was not a waste of time, that it was a time for healing, so I slept long and hard, waiting for my blood to leech out its memories and for my body to rejuvenate.
  • “But you – you my everything, m’boy, all this time you been my rock.”  “No, Momma,” I replied, “you’re my rock. I’m just the one who broke you.”  “Maybe,” she said, biting her lip. “But then you also the one who ground me. Ground me up into a medicine.”
  • …a good story is always a healing ceremony, we recuperate, re-member, and rejuvenate those we storytell into the world…

 

Angels in America

kristen2 Comments

51vmgruhwl._sl500_Angels in America by Tony Kushner

Her Grace’s rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Genre: contemporary literature/plays

I read it as an: audiobook (audio play?)

Narrator: National Theatre Broadway cast

Source: public library

Length: 06:53:00

Published by: Random House Audio (14 May 2019)

A two-part play, Angels in America focuses on gender identity, social justice, and AIDS in the time of the Reagan Republican counter-revolution. It features various storylines of several people living in NYC, primarily Prior Walter, Joe Pitt, his wife Harper, Roy Cohn, and Belize. Each person is struggling to make sense of themselves, often hiding who they really are, and the miseries and fears that go along with denying your true self. 

This was a brutal read. It was set in the 80s, my childhood, so when it was actually happening, I was too young to understand or care about issues like AIDS, the gay community, or why it is so important not to cover up your identity. I also wouldn’t have understood why that was sometimes the only way people could survive. Although it was a painful story to hear, I am so glad I did. My favorite character was Belize, so quick to tell you just what he thinks but at the same time also quick to care for another person, even if that person just royally offended or insulted him. We need more people like Belize in the world.

I have never listened to a play on audiobook before, though I’ve certainly been to several live performances. I didn’t know what I would think of the experience, but it was fantastic! The cast was amazing, of course, and the way the narration and stage directions were delivered made it really easy to follow. I would definitely listen to more plays on audiobook. 

River of Teeth

kristenLeave a comment

31445891._sy475_River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey (website, Twitter)

Her Grace’s rating:  4 out of 5 stars

Genre: alternative history

I read it as a: paperback

Source: my own collection

Length: 173 pp

Published by: Tor (23 May 2017)

Sarah Gailey’s novella, River of Teeth, finds its origins in a little known yet true bill Congress had considered passing in the 1800s. This bill would have imported hippos to the Louisiana bayous to breed as an alternate meat source to cattle. As the publisher’s blurb says, this was a terrible idea. Lucky for us, it clearly didn’t happen. In this alternate history, though, it did, and now shit’s about to get real. Some hippos in the novella’s past had escaped their farms and bred and expanded indiscriminately throughout the area. These feral hippos are tremendously dangerous and like to eat people. (Trying real hard here not to make a comment about how hungry the hippos were since I’m sure it’s been said many times. They were hungry…hungry hippos.)

Former hippo farmer and mercenary hippo wrangler, Winslow Houndstooth, is hired to herd these feral hippos out of the bayou and into a safer, contained region. If they are successful, he and his crew will make a fortune and Houndstooth will get revenge for a past wrong done to him. 

This book was so much fun! I love historical history, but not so much alternative history…unless it is one like this. Gailey pulled off an engaging, boisterous tale with complex characters, complete with their own motives, skills, and backgrounds. Houndstooth was the primary character, but the others were extremely well developed, particularly given that the story was so short. 

One thing I really loved was how diverse the cast of characters is. Men and women work alongside each other nicely (mostly), there are characters of color, nonbinary characters, LGBTQ characters, a woman who is about to become a single mother by choice. So many different people are represented and I fucking love it!

Definitely recommended for anyone looking for a fast, fun, diverse read. 

 

Earl of Huntingdon

kristenLeave a comment

42551630Earl of Huntingdon (Outlaw’s Legacy Book 3)* by NB Dixon

I read it as an: ARC

Source: Helen Hollick at Discovering Diamonds 

Length: 418 pp

Publisher: Beaten Track

Year: 2019

Earl of Huntingdon is the third in the Outlaw’s Legacy series, a reimagining of the Robin Hood legend by NB Dixon. In this installation, Robin of Huntingdon, formerly of Locksley, is an earl, a former outlaw pardoned by King Richard for his lawless ways. He had married Marian, the heiress of Huntingdon, though his heart was given to one of his companions, Will Scathelock. Now, years later, Robin is facing an old enemy from his Crusading days, Roger of Doncaster, who had been promised to Marian in his youth and never forgave her or Robin for coercing her marriage to Robin instead. Roger is determined to do all he can to destroy Robin, whose only solace now is in the arms of the man whose heart he broke.

The action begins with a new group of outlaws in Sherwood. The difference here is that these outlaws are truly bad people, raping, pillaging, and plundering from the innocent. The new sheriff of Nottingham, Matthew Picard, is as inept as Guy of Gisbourne ever could have been, and does nothing to stop them. Robin takes matters into his own hands and dispatches the outlaws himself with the aid of his loyal men…and Will Scathelock. However, the outlaws were connected to a spy in Robin’s midst working with Roger of Doncaster to bring Robin down and killing the outlaws sets in motion a chain of events neither Robin nor his men could have anticipated.

This was an utterly unstoppable read. While I confess I’ll read just about anything labelled “Robin Hood,” that doesn’t mean all such are actually well written or entertaining; Earl of Huntingdon, however, is both. I enjoyed the rich historical details, such as the training the men did in the lists and at the tiltyard, or the ways in which castles could be besieged. Adding in the historical details in this way make these novels which are based on legend spring to life, making it seem that much more possible that people like Robin Hood really could have existed.

The characters were all interesting and well developed. I loved how very human Robin was – he was conflicted in wanting to do right by Marian and by what I think was his genuine affection for her, but also his desire for Will and wanting to be with the man he truly loves. He isn’t a perfect person, and never tries to be, and it makes him that much more believable.

Marian is not always likeable and her reasons are understandable. She’s endured many losses and suffered a lot of heartache, which makes her rather shrewish at first. We get to know her more as the book goes on and I grew to like her more. Having Marian be less likeable than she often is in more traditional versions makes this novel compelling and more relatable – it reminds readers that she is a woman of her time and subject to the whims of the men in charge of her, and yet she has endured it all as best she can.

All the secondary characters – Will, John Little, Tuck, John’s wife Daphne, Alan a Dale, and so on – have distinct personalities and foibles of their own. Daphne in particular is a woman to be reckoned with. She’s awesome, even though her role in this novel was relatively minor.

Roger of Doncaster is a complex antagonist. He is so incredibly hateful towards Robin that, without having read the previous books, I am left to wonder if he is supposed to have been closeted. He hates Robin and other gay men so much, and bases his hatred for them in his religious devotions, that it makes me wonder if the hatred isn’t really supposed to be a projection of his own self-loathing. That possibility wasn’t really addressed in this book, but it did make me wonder as I was reading.

My only quibble, and it is minor, is that a couple of the secondary antagonists are a little stereotypical. Picard, for example, is very good at being a stupid fop and not much else. It makes him a rather boring antagonist because he is one-dimensional. There didn’t seem to be much else going for him. Again, this is a minor issue and didn’t detract from the rest of the plot overall, other than it made a few things a little predictable.

I loved the queering of the Robin Hood legend. It’s always fun to read a reimagining of any beloved story, and to see it done in a way that is socially relevant is a treat. It brings new discussion into the mix and raises a lot of interesting new questions to the traditional story everyone is familiar with. The chemistry between Robin and Will is unmistakable and fierce, but not over the top. As a non-reader of romance in general, I appreciate it when the romance isn’t actually smacking me in the face. The romance and sex in this novel were, I felt, very nicely done for both the gay and hetero couples.

I do feel I would have enjoyed the book even more had I read the previous two in the series. However, I do not feel like I was lost, plot-wise, for having missed them. Enough of the backstory was given so that any gaping plot holes were filled in, though I do feel like I missed out. I enjoyed the book enough that I went and purchased the first two in the series, and will quickly remedy that deficiency. Even without having read the first two in the series, I still happily recommend this book even as it is, and am looking forward to reading the whole series in order.

*Amazon affiliate link.

All This I Will Give to You

kristen2 Comments

43267676All This I Will Give to You* by Dolores Redondo (trans. Michael Meigs)

I read it as an: audiobook

Narrator: Timothy Andres Pabon

Source: My own collection

Length: 18:10:00

Publisher: Brilliance Audio

Year: 2018

Manuel Ortigosa is a writer  living in Madrid. He is hard at work on his next novel, waiting for his husband Alvaro to return from a business trip to Barcelona, when he receives word from police that Alvaro has been killed in a car accident. In Galicia, the opposite side of the country from Barcelona. Manuel travels to the town in Galicia where Alvaro died and learns that his husband was the Marquis of an ancient aristocratic family and Galicia is their ancestral home. Alvaro had hidden all this from Manuel because it seems he felt that his family was toxic and he wanted to shield Manuel from them. Upon his death, however, Manuel learns that Alvaro had saved his family from deep debt, using his own considerable funds to pay back loans and renovate the family homes, which put them in Alvaro’s personal possession, and thus he bequeathed everything to Manuel. Manuel is trying to come to terms with the fact that his husband hid who he was from him for the 15 years of their marriage, deal with the family who is indeed toxic, and find out what truly happened to Alvaro because he hadn’t died in an accident – he was murdered. Manuel meets two allies – a recently retired cop and a childhood friend of Alvaro’s, now a priest and Alvaro’s confessor – who aid him in finding out the truth.

This was a nicely complex book and I enjoyed not only the mystery plot but the travel element as well. I’ve never been to Spain, so the descriptions of the settings were some of my favorite parts, irrespective of the rest of the story.

The characters were generally complex and multifaceted. Manuel, the cop, and the priest were the ones I thought were the most multidimensional and complex people, though many of the other secondary characters, such as the family’s nanny, also seemed to have rich personalities.

There were many points of conflict – between Manuel and his husband’s family, between more progressive ideals and traditional Catholic practices, between the newer social order and the ancient traditions of nobility. There were also rivalries and intrigues between the family members as well, dark secrets and infighting. Alvaro was right – his family is toxic and he did well to keep Manuel from them. It would be exhausting to have to deal with a family like that.

I listened to this on audio book, so I have no idea how to spell some of the names, like the name of the cop friend, or the name of Alvaro’s family home. In any case, I think I would have preferred to eyeball read this one. I had picked up the audio book because it was a daily deal on Audible, but I didn’t care for the narrator. He did all right but I didn’t think he did a great job differentiating between characters. I had a hard time telling when it was supposed to be Manuel speaking and the cop, for example. His reading of women’s voices was pretty awful, though at least he didn’t make them sound like vapid cows like some male narrators do.

I loved the last line of the book SO MUCH. It is one of my favorite last lines ever now.

Openly Straight

kristenLeave a comment

16100972Openly Straight by Bill Konigsburg

I read it as an: audiobook

Narrator: Pete Cross

Source: my own collection

Length: 09:01:00

Publisher: Dreamscape Media

Year: 2017

Rafe is openly gay and lives with the full support of his parents and community in Boulder, CO. The problem, as he sees it, is that everyone sees his label first. He’s always the gay boy, the gay soccer player, the gay writer, never just Rafe. He finally decides he is tired of it and wants a fresh start, which he will get by moving across the country to an all-boys boarding school near Boston. Where he tells no one he is gay. He doesn’t go back in the closet, he argues, he just doesn’t advertise that he’s gay. Naturally, things get out of hand. One little white lie about not being gay snowballs into Rafe actively asking his family and friends in CO to pretend he’s straight. And then there’s Ben, the quiet, kind soccer teammate who Rafe can’t help but fall in love with, and who may or may not be discovering things about his own sexuality that he doesn’t want to confront.

This was a very interesting and quick read. Well, I listened to it on Audible, but still. I am straight and have never had to deal with coming out, so I can only imagine what it’s like for people always to be labeled as “the gay ____” of the group. I would hate that, and I really hope I have never done that to anyone. If I have, I apologize. It was inadvertent. Which is the point. Labels suck, and they are often placed unconsciously. This realization leads to the two best parts of the book. The first was the discussion in Rafe’s literature class when everyone was talking about tolerance. It really isn’t a very positive word, which is something I have said forever. To tolerate something – she is tolerable, I suppose – implies that it is just on this side of not making you vomit. You don’t actively hate it. You allow its presence but don’t welcome it. I tolerate the cat but I can’t fucking wait not to have a cat. So why do we say that tolerance is good in society? Wouldn’t something like acceptance or inclusion be infinitely better? I wouldn’t want someone just to “tolerate” me. Rather than being tolerant, let’s work on being accepting. Even better, let’s be inclusive. Accepting is better than tolerant, but it is still not perfect, since to accept something has an implication of resignation or surrender about it, that you may not like something but you know you can’t change it so you’re going to just let it go. It is better than tolerating something, but I think embracing or including a person or an idea or whatever is perhaps the best way to go about it.

The second part that I really liked, which may be a spoiler, I don’t know, so consider yourselves warned, is when Rafe realized that the “cameras” he was always so worried about were rarely actually focused on him. He realized that he had been staring at a guy in his group but he was thinking about himself and how concerns and realized what people think didn’t have anything to do with his own sense of worth or his own masculinity or identity. And then he had that lightbulb moment and realized that when others stare at him, it isn’t necessarily that they are judging him, but that they are thinking about themselves and reflecting on something utterly unrelated to him. I think a lot of people need to figure this out, that they aren’t the center of everything and that people aren’t always concerned with them. I know teens tend to have those imaginary audiences a lot, but I think many people never outgrow that. As my grandmother says, “you don’t worry so much about what people think about you if you knew how seldom they do.” It’s true – I think people think about themselves far more than anyone else and, for the most part, don’t care what other people do so long as it doesn’t affect them too much.

I’m a bit off YA at the moment, but this was still a very good book even though it wasn’t one of my favorites. The whole thing was just an interesting discussion and I am glad I read it. The writing style was easy and enjoyable, and apparently the author is local for me. Maybe one of these days I’ll see him at a book thing or something, which would be cool.

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

kristenLeave a comment

29010395I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika Sanchez

I read it as an: hardback

Source: library

Length: 340 pp

Publisher: Knopf

Year: 2017

Julia is a fairly typical 15 year old – she wants to hang out with her friends, have fun, and get good enough grades to get out of her neighborhood and go away to college when she is old enough. She struggles with depression, though she initially doesn’t realize it, because her parents are oppressive and don’t want her to achieve anything more than to get through high school without getting pregnant, then get married and get a job as a secretary, which is the best job they can think of. To be fair, her dad works in a factory and her mom cleans houses, so working as a secretary would be a big step up to them. However, Julia is highly intelligent and a talented writer; she wants to go to college and be a writer when she grows up, a job neither of her parents understands or supports. The death of her older sister, Olga, which happens before the start of the book, naturally throws her into a deeper depression than she already had been in.

Olga had been the perfect Mexican daughter, according to Julia’s mother. Olga was happy to stay at home forever, never dated, was happy to help her mother clean and cook traditional food. Julia wanted nothing to do with any of these things. After Olga died, Julia discovered that Olga may have had a secret life and makes it her mission to learn what it was. The weight of the secrets she learns becomes too much to bear and it has a terrible impact on Julia’s mental health.

I read this in one sitting and it made me ugly cry. It was so fucking good! There are so many issues wrapped up in this novel. Julia’s parents are undocumented immigrants and, over the course of the story, we learn about their harrowing trip across the border from their home town on Los Ojos in Mexico, the horrible things that happened to them. They were unable to return to Mexico when their parents died because they wouldn’t have been able to return to their home in Chicago or to their children. They work the worst jobs with the worst shifts because their employers know they have them over a barrel. Julia’s dad and his factory coworkers live in constant fear of raids by immigration; it’s pure dumb luck the raids have never happened during any of his shifts. Julia’s mother cleans houses in the rich areas of Chicago and deals with all kinds of abuse from the homeowners, from bored rich housewives hovering and criticizing everything she does to gross old men leering at her.

Julia suffers from depression and anxiety, but she doesn’t know it. She just thinks that she is weird and that nothing she does is good enough to please her mother. She’s a victim of her culture, to a large extent, and of her mother. Depression is not something that her mother understands and she thinks Julia just needs to be happy with her family and go to church more. Oppressing Julia’s need for a creative outlet and showing no interest in things she loves – literature, writing, travel – makes her feel as though she is unseen and unwanted, and understandably so.

Another issue in the book is how homosexuality is dealt with in the Hispanic community. I am not Hispanic, but I know that, traditionally, being gay is not very well tolerated. Readers see that in one of Julia’s friends, a gay boy who is frequently beaten by hi father for being gay.

Being from AZ, I know maybe a tad more about Mexican culture than some, but really I don’t know tons. Reading this book helped me learn more than I expected and for that, I am grateful. I want to learn more.

Overall, this book was sad and enlightening and shines a light on a huge number of issues. I loved it so hard.