Untangled: Guiding Teenage GIrls through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour, Ph.D. Genre: nonfiction/sociology I read it as a(n): paperback Length: 343 pp Her Grace’s rating: 4 stars 2025 Reading Challenge tasks: Her Grace’s: #8 – a nonfiction about an -ology TND: #10 – The title is red; #42 – Wish you had read when you were younger
As the title suggests, Untangled is a guide for parents of teenage girls. It breaks down, clearly and logically, the major phases of life the author, who is a practicing clinical psychologist, has identified that teen girls go through. Each section discusses the unique phase in depth as well as includes some case studies and examples. It also has suggestions for ways to approach topics, how to handle difficult conversations, and when you should legitimately worry and seek outside help.
I enjoyed Damour’s writing style. I found her approach to be supportive and encouraging – and honestly hilarious at times! The humor was welcome, because teenage years are horrific and if you don’t look for the humor in it all, then you’re going to end up rocking in a corner somewhere.
Part of the reason I picked this book up in the first place is that it seems like most psychology books for parents of teens deal with the Generic Teenager. Others deal specifically with Teenage Boys. Finding books about Teenage Girls are fewer and farther between. It’s an important distinction because, yes, teens do have some of the same weirdnesses across genders, such as the way the brain restructures itself from the primitive lizard brain first to the frontal cortex (where logic lives) at the very last. But many other experiences are unique to girls, their biology, and the way they process emotions and thoughts. Having a resource specific to teen girls is super important and I, at least, found it really insightful.
I would definitely recommend this if you have a teen or soon-to-be teen girl. I wish I had read this book years ago, before my girl turned into a teen. Honestly, ever since she hit 13, this song has been playing in my head on repeat.
Spells for Forgetting by Adrienne Young Genre: literary fiction/ magical realism I read it as a(n): hb Length: 350 pp Her Grace’s rating: 4 stars
The residents of Saoirse Island, WA, are a different group of people. They are insular, some of them to the point of xenophobia, yet they are almost entirely dependent on the tourists who come to the island to pick apples from its gigantic orchard. Every person on the island is tied in one way or another to the orchard. So when the orchard burned nearly to the ground and a teen died, folks did what they felt was necessary – ostracized the boy who seemed responsible, forcing him and his mother out of the community, and then never spoke of it again. That is, until that boy, now a man, returns to the island to bury the ashes of his mother. August Salt’s return to the island stirs up memories and secrets most want to leave buried except for Emery Blackwood, the girl August left behind.
Saoirse is an island that wraps itself around the lives of its people, dictating their fates in ways that feel inescapable. It is ironic since Saoirse means freedom in Irish, but it’s anything but free for some of the islanders who are bound by the weight of history, tradition, and unsolved mysteries. For those who live there, leaving is never really an option. Even when they manage to get away, as one of the characters does, they are always drawn back, like a magnet pulling them to confront what has been left unresolved. It is not really an ominous sense, though, as the island protects many who need it, and wreaks havoc on others who deserve it. Also? I love it when there is an inanimate object that is a fully fledged character in its own right. Saoirse Island is certainly that.
In magical realism, the blending of the ordinary with the extraordinary is seamless, and Spells for Forgetting exemplifies that perfectly. Saoirse is full of magic, but it’s a kind of magic that feels like part of the natural world. It just exists, like the air or the tides, and nobody questions its existence. The magic is tied to the land itself, the orchard in particular. The island breathes life into this magic, and just as it holds the people in its grip, it also holds their power. This is why the women, especially the older women, are so central to the story. Their knowledge of magic isn’t learned in books or schools—it’s passed down through the generations, grandmother to granddaughter, like a family secret.
In folklore, older women tend to hold a special place when they aren’t relegated to the role of witch or wicked stepmother. They are the keepers of tradition, the wise ones who hold knowledge that others don’t understand or respect until it’s too late. But Spells for Forgetting subverts this role in an interesting way. Yes, the grandmothers are the teachers, the ones who understand the magic and the island, but they are also trapped by it. The island’s magic is as much a burden as it is a gift. It binds them to Saoirse just as much as it empowers them, and in this way, they are not the all-knowing, all-powerful figures of traditional folklore. Instead, they are characters shaped by the same constraints and fears as everyone else, forced to carry the weight of the island’s secrets and never able to escape its influence.
The role of women in the story, particularly in the context of magical realism, highlights the balance between empowerment and imprisonment. Their connection to the island, through magic, bloodlines, and tradition, gives them strength but also makes them part of Saoirse’s pull. While folklore often celebrates the wisdom of old women, Spells for Forgetting shows the price of that wisdom—knowledge of the island’s magic comes with a cost, and freedom, in the true sense of the word, is not part of the bargain.
In this way, the island itself becomes the ultimate character, shaping and controlling the lives of everyone who resides there. Its magic is subtle, but Saoirse is a constant reminder that what should be freedom is, in reality, a kind of beautiful, inescapable prison. The natural elements—earth, water, wind, and fire—aren’t just parts of the scenery but active forces that tie the people to the island, just as much as the magic and the folklore do.